REAL LIFE! – Believe Series: Week Five
The Ministry of the Holy Spirit
I absolutely love how the Holy Spirit impacts our lives and the relationships that are closest to us. When we believe in God’s plan of salvation accomplished by the Son, Jesus Christ, we receive the Holy Spirit as the “good deposit.” He guarantees our salvation and allows us to grow into the people God desires us to be. In saying that, we as Christians can never say, “That’s just the way I am.” God is always in the business of changing our lives into the image of Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit makes this possible.
One may still ask, “How does this impact my everyday relationships with those in my home? How does the Holy Spirit impact the relationship with my spouse or my children?” In order to answer that question, let me first point out, according to the Bible, what causes arguments and disagreements in our lives:
What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?
James 4:1 (ESV)
Why do we argue? Because there is a war within us. There is a battle against our flesh and the Holy Spirit that resides within us. Everything, then, is first a spiritual battle before it is a relational one. Even when we are wronged by another individual there is still a war within us. We can respond to another person according to our flesh or according to the Holy Spirit. As a reminder, the only things we can control are our responses. We cannot make another person do anything.
Therefore, the Holy Spirit can impact our everyday relationships. The challenge is to submit to His leadership in our lives.
Example:
- You have asked your son to clean his room. He has an entire day to clean that room, surely he can get it done before you get home from work. Needless to say, when you come home from work, the room is not clean. What would typically take place in your home after this experience?
- How can the Holy Spirit impact this situation?
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…
Galatians 5:22-23 (ESV)
Just reading some of these fruits that are produced by the Holy Spirit are so necessary for the ensuing conversation with your son. Patience, self-control, gentleness. I believe our prayer can be: “Holy Spirit let me be patient and have gentleness when talking with my son about his room not being clean.” By asking the Holy Spirit to be part of the conversation with your son, it changes the entire tone and pace of the conversation.
Then we also begin to think about the verse from James. What are my passions and desires within me waging war? If the Holy Spirit desires me to be patient and have self-control, what is my flesh desiring? Quite the opposite, vengeance, harshness, fear.
You see, oftentimes when our kids or others do or do not do something, we think it reflects upon us. We may begin to think, “I am being a bad parent, or I must be failing.” Your son cleaning his room may have nothing to do with you. It may be their lack of remembrance, laziness, or something else may have come up.
When encountering a situation like this or any relational challenge, first ask yourself, “What is the battle within me?” Then ask the Holy Spirit to produce the fruit in your life that God desires.